Premonitions

I don't usually remember my dreams. I'll wake up knowing that I had been dreaming and usually have an idea of the type of dream I had, but the details don't stick. Then, occasionally I'll have a little snippet of a dream that I have a complete and clear memory of. These have always come true.

These snippets are from about half a second long to about 5 seconds. They usually involve another person (not necessarily someone I know at the time) moving in a very specific way or saying a specific phrase. Also, they are never useful.

The best example of one of these was from when I was in junior high. I was staying at a friends house. The girl from next door was over, and we were wrestling over the remote control. The entirety of the dream was the way she flopped down on the floor in front of me when she was giving up. There was nothing special about this night. I only met the girl one more time, and don't even remember her name.

It took me about twenty years to discover the significance of these little glimpses into the future. It turns out that every time these dreams start coming true it's a sign that my life will be going through some major changes fairly soon. When I start having these dreams it means the events that made the change have happened and to get ready for the repercussions (the dreams themselves are for the next major change).

The first series of these dreams started to come true just before i met my first fiance. The second was just before she was killed. The third one was just before I went to college. The fourth was just before I met the one who became my wife. The fifth was just before I met some of my best friends (J and T). The sixth was during the last few days while my marriage has been dissolving, and now I've started dreaming again.

(Now the main reason for this post, to have a record of this dream for when if comes true). This morning I woke to a dream I hope I can avoid (I've yet to succeed in avoiding one though). It's just a little snippet of getting into a car with the ex driving, and having a very unpleasant conversation about why we didn't work. It's the details of the way she is sitting, how she's holding her hands, the view out the front window. the box of tissues in the floorboard, etc. that makes me know this is another one of those dreams.

This is probably one of the best chances for me to avoid one of these that I've ever had. I have no desire to get into a car with her, and will avoid that as a matter of principle. I'm not exactly sure what will come of avoiding one of the dreams, but I plan to find out.

Intro

I'm mainly setting this up as a form of catharsis.

Currently I'm going through the break up of a thirteen year relationship, and need some form of outlet. I (hopefully won't really be going into a lot about the divorce, but need a place to say the thing I once shared with her.

In short, we had been to counseling, worked some things out, had other issues, she gave up. It will work out in the end. I really discovered who my friends are (and how lucky I am to have them).

That's I'll I really want to say publicly.

As for me, I'm a developer (Ruby, PHP, Perl) in Houston, Tx. I'm currently working a long term contract, but may be interested in getting out of this town (for the right position and location). I am the co-founder of an online video gaming company (yes, I get ownership of this, she gets the House). I now have time to do a lot of the things I let slip to the side while involved in a relationship (music, working out, travel, etc).

As for this blog, I'm mainly going to be using it as an outlet for those thing I used to share with her. I find it good to talk through my ideas, and the things that happen. There will be some tech talk, some "wow can you believe this", and whatever else happens to strike me as needing to get out.